The "Man Box"

Shouts to Mr. Nappington for the link.. This ish is real.

I was doing a training exercise for work last week, during which the facilitator said "With regards to your sex, do you feel more or less privileged in comparison to others?" Then all the participants were to move to either side of the room based on how they felt.

As I stood on the right side of the room with the more privileged group, I understood that I indeed had more "privilege" as a man in the U.S. than a member of the opposite sex. But I couldn't help but feel less "privileged" to be a man in the U.S. Being a man imposes certain constraints socially and emotionally, yet also imposes an expectation of certain attributes that are supposed to be imbued in us at birth.

I personally celebrate machismo, aggressiveness, brawn, pride, extroversion, and all the other things that red blooded American boys and men are supposed to have. I grew up on that stuff, watched it on TV. It's why I'm so competitive and love sports. But for me, there was always a time and place for that. So it's frustrating to constantly keep up a front, trying to be more of these traits than you actually care to. The insecurities this behavior can build are devastating, yet as men, we are never taught how to handle them. "Brush it off," they say. "Man up."

The definition of a man is evolving. Maybe in time, if men learn to confront their feelings instead of shying away from them, we can learn to be as productive with our lives as our female counterparts. Let's substitute the cell with a dorm room.

And shouts to Tony Porter, one of the few Black men I've seen on TEDtalks!